The Mystery of the Haunted Vampire

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Sunday, January 22, 2006

'Murderous, blood-thirsty thugs'

An open letter to the so-called Rev. Fred Phelps of the notorious God hates campaign,

I never thought you would make me proud of my adopted state of West Virginia.

But as your latest press release makes clear, West Virginians have got some crowing to do. From your Westboro Baptist Church statement:

(Apologies to my gay brothers and sisters for the hate speech I'm quoting, but I think it's important to see what we're dealing with)

West Virginia is by far the worst. Murderous, blood-thirsty thugs is not too strong. Foul-mouthed issuers of terroristic threats - which is felonious conduct in most states. Not the Castro faggot district in San Francisco; not New York's sodomite Village; nor any of the lesser famous hotbeds of perversion like the French Quarter of New Orleans - all of which places WBC has picketed on multiple occasions - none rivals West Virginia for filthiness. WBC members will testify against you on Judgment Day. 500 West Virginians threatened to kill us.

snip

WBC to picket the fag-infested University of West Virginia [sic] in Morgantown on the first day of their shameful, infamous Gay Pride Week - Monday, April 3 - in religious protest & warning: "God is not mocked!" God Hates Fags & Fag-Enablers! Ergo God hates West Virginia

Let me interrupt you right there, Phelps. Now I've got to give you points for the headline of "Brokeback Mountaineers." It's kind of catchy. But it's West Virginia University not University of West Virginia.

Dumb ass.

I take pride in the fact that of all the places you've picketed, the worst "by far" reception you ever received is in West Virginia. And yes, we are blood-thirsty thugs. Keep that in mind when you mess with one West Virginian, you mess with the entire fucking tribe.

I see you're also planning to picket the Sago Baptist Church in Tallmansville -- again like you did at the memorial service for the 12 miners.

You write:

...for blasphemously misrepresenting the sovereign, predestined providences of The Almighty in the Sago Mine matter. When God punishes a nation with death-dealing lightning bolts, hurricanes, and IEDs, it slanders the Great King to utter maudlin preacher-lies in vain attempts to gloss over God's condign wrath so as  to avoid repentance.

Phelps, keep in mind what you wrote about West Virginians. You looking for wrath, you just might find it. The people in coal country are not people to mess with -- even when you've got field artillery and the U.S. Army behind you as people found out in the Coal Mine Wars of the 1920s.

I believe God is loving and merciful.

But you fuck with West Virginians at your own risk.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Beth Wellington said...

Amen, brother. See my post of January 11...

1/24/2006 08:26:00 PM  

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