The Mystery of the Haunted Vampire

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Saturday, January 07, 2006

BloodRayne: fun in spurts

The Boston Globe says BloodRayne is fun in spurts. I thought I'd get to see it after I got off work early Saturday from my second job, but turns out it's not playing here yet.

A few days ago I made a list of stuff I was looking forward to doing in 2006. ''BloodRayne," I'm embarrassed to say, didn't make the cut, but it has managed to give me a few things I didn't know I wanted. One was a trip to Revere, which is the only place in town this intermittently interesting vampire-slayer adventure is playing. The other is a celebrity death match between Kristanna Loken and the increasingly shameless Ben Kingsley. Yes, stop the presses! ''Lad-mag princess squares off against Sir Ben." Seeing a fit former model and an Oscar-winning thespian stab the dickens out of each other won't change your life, but one does appreciate the convergence of two disparate universes for a cause I think we can all relate to: Getting paid is fun! The willowy Loken has been hired to play Rayne. She's half-human, half-vampire, and totally miffed that Kagan, Kingsley's ultravampire, has killed her mom. Revenge is in order, and Rayne spends the movie fighting her way from one crypto-medieval set to the next to get to Kagan's castle, where Kingsley sits on a throne and mechanically performs dark-lordliness like a coin-operated Dracula.
I've already expressed my feelings towards the director, but I'm a vampire addict.


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