Count Dracula's online diary

Through his post on Dracula (the novel) blogged, I just found out Count Dracula is keeping his own blog, Count Dracula's Diary.

Another terrible night - and not just toothache, which is getting worster and worster. Dracula busy ironing spare cape when doorbell ring; he forced to answer it, who else is there? My Daughters of the Night too lazy, always playing loud music in their bedchamber, not hear thunder let alone doorbell. So Dracula traipse down four staircases to answer door – is only Mrs Hilspringer, damned village gossip, come to collect donations for church fete! I, Dracula, Prince Of Darkness and Slayer Of Souls, what do I care for blasted church fete? Then I smelt burning – Dracula’s only spare cape scorched under the iron he had so foolishly left face down on the garment!