The Mystery of the Haunted Vampire

We've moved! Please check out www.hauntedvampire.com, the new home for our 'Tales of supernatural horrors!'

Monday, February 20, 2006

Zombies on ice! The Sequel!

If, like me, your first mental image upon reading the previous post's title was that of a sequin-bedecked pair of zombies twirling and spinning across the ice on flashing blades as gobbets of flesh dropped from them, then you need help. No, really, I mean that. If, however, you do find yourself in this position, you will be just as disappointed as I to discover that there are no Google-able images of sequin-clad, figure skating zombies! Zero, zip, nada, none. Bupkus. Dammit, I want my Dawn of the Dead on Ice! If the Internet wasn't invented for propagating exactly that sort of image, than I don't know what it was invented for (apart from pr0n, which is clearly outside the scope of this blog (unless it's zombie pr0n, in which case let me be the first to tell you that you are truly one sick mofo. Really. Now stop touching me and go away.)). But I digress... While googling for these oh-so-elusive images, I was able to find these gems: All Things Zombie (which appears to live up to its name most admirably) and Lance Chess' article in the Sep 16 - Sep 22, 2004 issue of The Portland Mercury titled "Zombie Like Me"...

I'm sure we've all fantasized about being on the run from a pack of brain-devouring zombies. Perhaps you've even imagined yourself armed with a shotgun and a handful of shells. How many zombies did you take out before you succumbed? One? 10? 50? But what if it were the other way around? What if YOU were the lone zombie walking around--undead, wandering in a sea of thriving humanity, scaring everyone shitless? That's why I chose to get into the skin of a zombie--that is, to shuffle a mile in his shoes. But first I needed to resemble one of the living undead--and a bong hit, a couple shots of Jgermeister [sic], and some shabby clothes would not suffice. I needed professional help.
This journalistic gem is but the beginning of the package of articles the Mercury pulled together for this issue. There's Things To Do In Portland When You're Undead, How To Kill A Zombie, and Ask a Zombologist. Good stuff, good stuff. Oh yeah, one last thing; there was one photo... No sequins here... ...of a zombie on ice.

2 Comments:

Blogger eugene plawiuk said...

I thought I would let you know about my article on Zombies and other things Goth and Horror. It's called Gothic Capitalism at my blog Le Revue Gauche

This is great little blog by the way, which I just happened to stumble across, keep up the interesting adventures.

2/22/2006 12:07:00 AM  
Blogger protected static said...

Thanks - I took a gander @ your piece last night, and it looks fun...

2/22/2006 02:15:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home